One of the great mysteries of life for us all is in what others think of us. We may make good impressions, or we may make bad ones, but we don’t really know what anyone thinks about us. In the absence of knowing, we often try to imagine what they might be thinking.
What we imagine in the beginning is never close to all we will come to know in the end. “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28 NKJV).
Often, after meeting with someone, we will think back on the words that we had spoken. We will think about what we should not have said or how we could have said it better. We hope they will not think negatively of us by interpreting what we said the wrong way.
Look for the best in others, and you will surely find it. “Love each other in a way that makes you feel close like brothers and sisters. And give each other more honor than you give yourself” (Romans 12:10 ERV).
Most of us are not that socially gifted. We trip over our words and fail to explain ourselves completely. We are better at speaking our minds than we are at doing so with grace and clarity. We are better at analyzing what we say after it is spoken instead of before.
It’s what we say or do without thinking that proves what’s in our hearts. “Good people do good things because of the good in their hearts, but bad people do bad things because of the evil in their hearts. Your words show what is in your heart” (Luke 6:45 CEV).
You cannot go back in time and change one single thing. However, you can make a choice to live differently going forward. If you speak faster than you think, then learn to hold your tongue. Let silence be your friend, and don’t let your mouth be your master.
Your words lay down the path that you will walk down. “A man’s stomach will be satisfied with the fruit of his mouth; he will be satisfied with the consequence of his words. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it and indulge it will eat its fruit and bear the consequences of their words” (Proverbs 18:20-21 AMP).
You cannot control what people think about you, but you can control what contributes to their thoughts. Speak slowly, guard your words, and let your life be an example to those around you. Learn to speak and act in a way that brings glory to the Father.
You need to bite your tongue before it bites you. “If anyone thinks he is religious without controlling his tongue, then his religion is useless and he deceives himself” (James 1:26 HCSB).
Don’t worry about what others think about you; only give it to the Lord. Ask God to temper the thoughts others have toward you and ask Him to help them understand you. Don’t carry the burden of another’s thought life, but only worry about your own.
Don’t worry about what people think about you but what you think about them. “In whatever you do, don’t let selfishness or pride be your guide. Be humble, and honor others more than yourselves. Don’t be interested only in your own life, but care about the lives of others too. In your life together, think the way Christ Jesus thought” (Philippians 2:3-5 ERV).
Spend more time cleaning up your own thoughts and let others worry about their own. How we think about others will be reflected in how we speak to them. Your thought life is the foundation of your complete life and determines all you might say or do.
Anybody can have a good thought, but can your thoughts remain there? “…bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5 NKJV).
If you have said or done something to another, that is wrong and would surely cause them to have bad thoughts about you, then you need to make it right. You must first be sorry for what you have done before you can tell them you are sorry.
Repenting is not just being sorry for what you did but being determined for what you will do next. “…all must repent of their sins and turn to God – and prove they have changed by the good things they do” (Acts 26:20 NLT).
Learn to humble yourselves into asking for forgiveness. Even if you are not wrong, it is surely the best path toward reconciliation. In your life, it does not matter if someone else takes the high road, but will you. Be willing to do what others refuse to do.
You must walk the high road to teach the high road, or else you have no frame of reference. “…Show other Christians how to live by your life. They should be able to follow you in the way you talk and in what you do. Show them how to live in faith and in love and in holy living” (1 Timothy 4:12 NLV).
Don’t waste your time wondering what others think of you; instead, spend your time having godly thoughts towards them. Let the Lord rule your thoughts, and your whole life will be so much better. Let Christ rule in your hearts, and your hearts will be His kingdom.
The quality of your life depends on the quality of your thinking. “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he…” (Proverbs 23:7 NKJV).
You cannot change how other people think about you, but you can most certainly change how you think about them. So do that. Think good thoughts. Be merciful in your thoughts, and you will be merciful in your words and your actions. Think higher to live higher.
The sum of your thoughts is the life you will live. “And now, brothers, as I close this letter, let me say this one more thing: Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine, good things in others. Think about all you can praise God for and be glad about” (Philippians 4:8 TLB).
Blessings to you,
Paul Balius
I really needed to hear this! Thank-you so much! As someone who has struggled with depression most of my life, one of the warning signs is, thinking everyone is “against me” in some way. Another is insomnia and isolation. I really feel God speaking to me about healing from this debilitating condition. It all starts in my thought life.🙏💗🙏
Hello Lydia, I’m so sorry for the late reply. I’m glad you liked this post, it was written from a very personal perspective, and I think there are more like us than we realize. I pray that you will press in for the healing and restoration the Lord most certainly wants you to have and came help you to achieve. We serve a mighty God!
Thank you for this publication. So usefull. I would have appreciate to know it before. Thank you for your texts who helped me so often. May God continue to inspire you. My life mission is to give hope and by your texts you do it to me. Thank you again. Happy new year 2024. Shalom.
Thank you so much! I appreciate the encouragement that helps me to overcome discouragements that are ever before me. What a sweet and precious Lord that we serve!
Thank you, beloved brother, Paul, for this absolutely crucial, deeply insightful, and thoroughly trustworthy teaching. From time to time, I cognize or recognize myself silently praying, “Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips” (Psalm 141:3). Not always do I work out my own salvation with fear and trembling in this regard, but the One Beautiful Triune God is effectually at work in me, both to will and do of His good pleasure, so I consciously experience real encouragement and actual progress from Christ’s inimitable, indwelling Presence. All the glory be to the fame of His peerless Name above every name.
Thank you, and apologies for the late reply. I was pressing in on a deadline to complete my third book, and I made that deadline! Oh what joy we have when we are relying on the Lord for all that stands before us. Blessings to you as you encourage myself and others. I think the greatest things we often do for the Lord is what we encourage others to do. Praying His favor over all the ministry you have before you.