Sometimes when I am hurt I will just pour out from my heart directly onto the pages and up to my Father in heaven. I wanted to share one such time, I pray it would be a blessing to you.
I will skip the part where I explained to God all the antics of man in this incident and how I was being mistreated. Never hold back your feelings when you pray, as it is from your heart that the Lord is the most interested to hear from you. Here is where I continue with the prayer, it starts from a dark place:
But that is the world. Everybody out for themselves. Nothing is righteous. Nobody cares that much for anything or anyone besides themselves. They justify their darkness in the dark. They believe their own lies. You cannot prove to a man blind from birth that there are colors. Evil persists. People are evil. Little demons running them amuck. And it is not the evil looking ones I worry about, but the ones who appear so sweet. Those are the most dangerous.
Father you did not protect your prophets from the world. Nor did you allow your Son to be kept safe from the effects of evil. You never told me the path would be easy. You said you would make my paths straight, if I acknowledge you, but nowhere do you say the path will be smooth.
Yet I know Lord, over and over in Scripture, you honor the man who is faithful, who remains obedient, who walks with You, who is humble. Lord, I know I am so far from perfect, but Lord I am so devoted to You. Even in the face of trials, I know You are with me. And sometimes it is the very reason You allow the trial, that I would see You.
Father, I do not know what to do. But what do you want, Father? Lord God, if I believe that I can hear You, then I can ask You anything.
Holy Spirit, I know that You are with me. I know that You can help me. I know that You can guide me. I know that You can bring to my remembrance the Word. I know that You can show me what to say and when, and when to just be silent. I trust in You, and will seek You, seek Your will. Help me I pray, calm my soul.
Lord Jesus, I need to see You tonight. I need to have You visit me. Lord, I need to know how to turn my mind off to the world, to not even consider the noise of the irrelevant, and stay laser focused on Your Word. Help me to sacrifice my feelings, to put the very rights to myself on the altar, and end it once and for all. That I would have but You alone left on the throne of my heart.
Here is who I am. I am calm, and that is not a weakness or a character flaw, but a strength. I am dedicated and a friend of working day and night, weekends, whatever it takes. I will not give an opinion to a matter that was decided before being asked to give an opinion. The answer is in the absence of the question. The truth is always masked by the lie.
Father God, I may not get elevated by man’s measure, but by Your measure, Lord. And not by impressing man, but rather by being quite unimpressive. I may end up a pauper in the world, but my treasure is in heaven. My treasure is You. If I have You, I have everything, so there is nothing nobody can take from me.
Holy Spirit, I pray that You would calm my spirit, that I would sleep soundly tonight Lord, resting in the perfect knowledge of You with me. That I could be anointed by You, to use the time given to me on this earth wisely, towards greater purposes. Not that I need to reach thousands, but one.
The Word says “all things work for good” (Romans 8:28) and I believe the Word. What I don’t know is what the good in this bad is. Joseph had to wait over twelve years in prison. Why am I in such a rush? I need to learn to trust You more than a half a day.
So, I wait Lord. And I trust You. And I sleep good. You have me. It is interesting that I can learn so much of the good in You, my God, because of the evil of man.
Nothing on this world matters more than You. Father God, let me serve You. Lord Jesus, let me have only You as my center, my focus, my purpose, my life. Holy Spirit, let me yield unto You my life that You can change me.
“You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You” (Isaiah 26:3).
I pray this was blessing to you. Just pray to Him, He hears you.